@280Jokes: When mom returned from the store, her son had found a box of animal crackers. He spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. "What are you doing?" his mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy says. "I'm looking for the seal."
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@ForEllieSylvia: Sorry I flinched when you told me you loved me. I've been practicing my poker face. Can we try again?
@Mostly_Cheese: If someone stole my identity I would be like, "Haha now you have no money and you're bad at basketball."