@onelongbender: When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?
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@DanMentos: I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool "This is my 24th winter" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart
@killazilla: My sis just asked if sugar goes bad. Now I can't stop picturing it bullying the other spices and selling pot.
@iamspacegirl: [Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is... Grease. Me: Grease is the word? Judge: Yes. Grease is the word that you heard.