@TheMichaelRock: When my car starts making weird noises I just assume it's becoming a Transformer.
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@markydoodoo: I just saw a girl running without headphones and I feel I should call the police. She might be in trouble.
@ForeverHairy: When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like.
@WilliamAder: I got free pancakes on International Pancake Day. International Women's Day is now almost over and I think I like pancake day better.
@JasonLastname: Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day