@ChillE_ConCarne: When my child is born I'll paint flames on him so when I stand with the other parents at the nursery I can say "Thats my son. The fast one."
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@noog: In current news: US: Stop that Middle East: Stop what? US: That Middle East: This? US: Yes that Middle East: This? America: OMG STAAAHP
@lloydrang: The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.
@jake_lach: <-----Will never confess the actual number of house cats he's forced outdoors when the owner wasn't looking
@HandyJack420: My daughter just finished watching Frozen so, counting today that's 12,521,865,635,869 times since Tuesday