@ChillE_ConCarne: When my child is born I'll paint flames on him so when I stand with the other parents at the nursery I can say "Thats my son. The fast one."
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@mompsychologist: 5yo after licking my face: "Sorry. My mouth meant to kiss you but my brain told me to lick you."
@chuuew: The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon.
@awkwardphilippe: *walks in* Nope! *does a 360° and walks in further* Ah that's why I failed geometry