@ChillE_ConCarne: When my child is born I'll paint flames on him so when I stand with the other parents at the nursery I can say "Thats my son. The fast one."
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@glenyrd: I'm so glad we could finally reconnect after all these years because I'd really like your help on my virtual farm.
@PanicRestroom: I didn't say you are fat, I just said that going out with you feels like going on a double date
@markleggett: My cat's staring at the wall again. Either she can see ghosts, or she's mulling over past social situations she wishes she'd handled better.
@DanMentos: [job interview] “any public speaking experience?” not since the valedictorian speech in high school “very impressive” I yelled 'YOU SUCK'