@seamussaid: when my daughter is mad she points at me and delivers what I can only assume is a gypsy curse
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@cwhudson: *taps on a super old dude's oxygen tank* you know that you can get this stuff for free right
@DranoRaul: People I live with are hiding my shit. The two most effective hiding places to date: 1) out in the open 2) where I last left it
@NoogsCorner: The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.
@LindaInDisguise: You guys, I seriously never ask for prayers but this is an emergency. There is a rumor that Red Lobster might be closing. Pray. Pray hard.