@molly7anne: when my dog starts eating grass I tell him “no bud that will make you pukey” but he’s seen me down tequila like I’m trying to dissolve my intestines so he can eat a little roadside salad
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@Humor_Fetish: There's no human I hate more than the attendant in the bathroom at bars. Bro, I can handle this portion of my day ASSISTANCE FREE.
@7notyours: Dog pissed about wearing cone after surgery. Dog spends night banging cone against walls, keeping human awake. Dog-1 Human-0
@JohnHilsen: Galadriel told Frodo only he could destroy the ring. Smokey Bear said only YOU can prevent wildfires. Frodo did his job; did you do yours?