@buhsbaby_baby: When my dogs crawl into bed with me, I like to pretend it's because they love me and not because I am sleeping in their dog bed on the floor
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@NYC_Blonde: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it date an emotionally available, age-appropriate, nice, single guy with a good job.
@juliussharpe: Google Glass, for everyone who's ever thought, "I like that browser so much, I want it on MY FACE"
@kwirkyKerri: The spider I let live in my kitchen is letting the bugs run amok. No free rides! Your days are numbered missy.