@buhsbaby_baby: When my dogs crawl into bed with me, I like to pretend it's because they love me and not because I am sleeping in their dog bed on the floor
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@AndrewNadeau0: Hats were invented in 1784 when a Canadian was too polite to ask a raccoon to get off his head.
@Parkerlawyer: Told my kids I loved them at carpool and no one responded so I yelled, "I love you too!" while hanging out of the sunroof. Me, 1 Kids, 0
@thenatewolf: There are so many people outside, and so much yelling, and I genuinely genuinely don't know if it's a murder or a rare Pokemon.