@aveuaskew: When my evening plans are ruined, I pay it forward by texting "I'm pregnant" to random numbers.
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@shakenbakegurl: I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over.
@DevilryFun: While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people.
@AimeeHelene1: *wakes at 3am* *sits in dark* *jingles chains & scratches walls* *waits for everyone to be so creeped out they can't sleep & we open gifts*