@Chel__CLE: When my husband brags that girls hit on him at work, I just remind him that I make more money than him. We both go to bed happy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnLyonTweets: Yelling at me for warming towels in the oven is not going to get the fire department here any faster.
@LittleHarmonica: I hate it when people think I'm staring when really I'm trying to kill them with my mind.
@SardonicTart: Sometimes I'm scared I'll miss my kids when they move out but then I find a bowl of cereal in the bathtub tub and I'm not so scared anymore.
@allthatisbecca: I knew I was in trouble when the lady doing my nails shouted "WHO DO YOUR EYEBROW?!"