@Chel__CLE: When my husband brags that girls hit on him at work, I just remind him that I make more money than him. We both go to bed happy.
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@MollyCocktail: Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.
@JohnHilsen: Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.
@generaldietz: lifeguard: can you describe the thing that touched you? me: yea...it was like a wet wind chime made out of wieners lifeguard: a squid?
@toastymoe: The longest 30 seconds of your life happen when you shut the router off to reset the WiFi