@NervousJr: When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams.
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@jayonguitar: When you rob an Ikea store they probably make you put all the money in the bag yourself.
@VerbsRProudest: Taking a nap now. If you're tempted to wake me, please remember Jurassic Park. Just because we can do it, doesn't always mean we should.
@mellimelle: The older I get, the more I realize nobody is better than I am. Except people with statues of lions outside their house. They rule.
@sammyrhodes: There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.