@NervousJr: When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: [Nudges friend] You should see what I just wrote on the bathroom wall. Friend: Uh... You do know we're at my house right?
@Bizarro_Mark: The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn't amused when I said, "I don't think it's working"
@david8hughes: The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die.
@daemonic3: The coolest thing about dating Mystique from the X-men is the unlimited free food samples she can get for you at Costco.