@amydillon: When my husband goes outside to investigate a strange noise, how long do I have to wait before un-pausing the show we were watching?
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@laurajennyjo: I'm gonna start following my cat to the litter box and sit in her lap while she takes a shit
@Amburglar_: According to Facebook, 78% of girls I went to high school with now own their own photography business.
@sirmunchie: Someday, my kids will say "daddy, wanna hear a cool story" and it will actually be followed by the telling of a cool story.