@amydillon: When my husband goes outside to investigate a strange noise, how long do I have to wait before un-pausing the show we were watching?
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@lordratsquirt: Recently I discovered when changing sex positions, it's better to make the Transformers sounds inside your head rather than vocalizing them.
@Goggner: Social services would take the kids away if they saw my house right now. Does anyone have their phone number?
@_ElvishPresley_: Call me old fashioned, but that's not my name and I absolutely will not respond to it.