@hazelmotes1: When my kids come to me with problems I just tell them to watch Full House until they find an episode dealing with their issue.
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@DaddyJew: "Get off the phone" "Wash your hands" "Pull up your pants" "Make me dinner" My son runs a pretty tight ship in our household
@brennadine: "NO YOU'RE DRUNK," she says playfully into the mirror, then promptly resumes disappointing her boyfriend's mom at family dinner.
@CulturedRuffian: I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM, BECAUSE GRANDPA FORGOT TO WEAR HIS HEARING AIDS AGAIN!
@BritXNic: "Alcohol doesn't affect me" *Wakes up with cornrows, a light saber and two taxidermy lizards*