@hazelmotes1: When my kids come to me with problems I just tell them to watch Full House until they find an episode dealing with their issue.
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@3sunzzz: *4yo son, crying* I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to cook the macaroni necklace? *sigh* Parenting is hard.
@petemandik: [touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma.
@sammyrhodes: Here’s the thing about the paleo diet. If cavemen could have eaten donuts they would have.