@Breadery: When my kids misbehave we watch 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids' and then I make them stand in a giant Petri dish while I set up the machine.
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@ieatanddrink: Think I nailed my job interview today because I wore a graduation cap to make it look like I graduated high school
@TheTweetOfGod: Matthew 28, John 20. Luke 24, Mark 21. That means Matthew and Luke will meet in the finals.
@lisaxy424: 30 seconds staring confused at the calculator app before realizing why my phone wasn't calling the number I dialed.