@STEELERS1972: When my laptop asks "Are you sure?", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made.
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@10InchesPlus: "Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever
@MrsTomServo: Monopoly banker (inspecting check): Um, I'm gonna have to call the manager. Giant metal shoe: I've been doing business here FOR 20 YEARS.
@MartaEffing: We both want it. My lips part. His do, too. The tension pulsates. "I'll take the one w/ sprinkles!" And that's how I got the last one.
@Cpin42: I hate when I show up to a funeral and another guy is wearing the same hot dog costume.