@counterfeitingl: When my large dog wants to sit beside me but my other slightly less large dog already is, he just sits on top of him
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@leshnevsky: Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty? Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!
@Jenny4ashley: Drop a ring pop in front of him. If he picks it up and hands it back to you... Congratulations! You're engaged.
@sfreeze6: Eye of the tiger. Nose of the lion. Mouth of the lynx. Ear of the bobcat. Throat of the cougar. Forehead of the ocelot.