@JPHaddadio: When my neighbor's bed starts rhythmically hitting the wall, I like to drum back. Last night, we had a real jam session going.
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@CharmandBrains: A required corporate training course said to build strong relationships. Also, HR told me it's "inappropriate" to kiss strangers.
@CourtneyBale: [dinner party] *removing myself from table* Excuse me, I have to take this. *picks up host's dog* *leaves*
@LurkAtHomeMom: Thinking of having kids? Practice getting small children ready to play in the snow by wrestling a pair of gloves onto an angry octopus.
@bobvulfov: when i get married im gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they'll know about the wedding but won't be allowed to go