@Amiigat: When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.
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@sofarrsogud: ME: Yeah, I've heard that movie. FRIEND: You mean 'seen' that movie. ME: Ha ha. No! I'm on twitter. I haven't seen a movie in 3 years.
@Smooheed: My husband told me I was beautiful for the first time tonight Sure, he was drunk and using a Scooby Doo voice but I'll take it
@MensHumor: You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
@DaNaLa13: Food Network makes me feel like a perv: Beat it It's not moist enough My wrist is tired Look how thick it's getting It's all about flavor