@DoucheMcBaggus: When my son gets uppity, I like to remind him that I'm totally nailing his mom.
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@slimmy_shady: My neighbour hit the post reversing out of the driveway. He hit the poor man delivering it too.
@Amusitr0n: If someone's embarrassed just tell them an astronaut did the same thing. For example, "It's ok, Buzz Aldren once shit himself in an Arby's"
@LindaInDisguise: 13YO: Why's he happy? He got dog-piled. Me: He made a lot of groundage before getting put down. Husband: Yardage. Tackled. PLEASE LEAVE.