@DoucheMcBaggus: When my son gets uppity, I like to remind him that I'm totally nailing his mom.
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@EliBraden: No one shot Rick Ross - when you're that big you're BOUND to be hit by a random stray bullet now and then
@perfect_boxx: I was asked to name my top 10 most favorite books. I don't have 10 so I just started naming insects.
@freypalm: My dad: See, when you said you'd met a "special someone" we thought… Me: Go on. My dad: Me: [taking hold of the penguin's flipper] GO ON.