@VaguelyFunnyDan: When my toddlers ask where mommy is, I explain that she's gone to heaven. That way they're super-excited when she gets back from the gym.
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@PersianCeltic: Anything I have ever learned about One Direction, The Kardashians and Taylor Swift has been completely against my will.
@roxiqt: Words are fun. A "bat" can be a piece of sports equipment or an animal. A "spirit" can be a ghost or a beverage. A "content" creator can be someone who creates videos or who walks around screaming all of the time.
@Ryan_Patricks: My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.