@Masquerage: When my twitter crush rt's another girl, a little part of me dies. And so does she.
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@SaraThomas84: It's all fun and games until you're sitting in the Planned Parenthood waiting room doing your Algebra homework
@GrabTheWEness: When I went to bed last night I had 47,000 followers. Now I have 700. Did I spell something wrong?
@HatfieldAnne: First 20 minutes driving through farm country: "Isn't this pretty?" Next 3 hours: *can't remember a life before corn*
@chiekshere: [waffle house] Waitress: how do u like your eggs Me: hatched and with their families W: no how do u like them cooked M: [spits out coffee]