@Masquerage: When my twitter crush rt's another girl, a little part of me dies. And so does she.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheDailySchmuck: They say all of this started because Eve ate an apple. Clearly, the book was altered. Everyone knows it had to be chocolate.
@Cheeseboy22: Asked my 1st grade students the riddle: What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive? (A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."
@rezox: funny when u get charged by a cash machine to get ur own cash out but then it tells u to cover ur pin to prevent getting robbed.
@missekay: People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don't understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.