@simoncholland: When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.
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@amyistrouble: Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves. You know who you are. I probably should be too, but this isn't about me.
@girlontapas: My mom bought me a bottle of whiskey as a Xmas gift... She seemed a little upset that I said she should've mailed it ahead of her visit.
@Tmoney68: Mistletoe is my favorite Christmas tradition that sounds like a cool as shit superpower.
@paul_lander: Who says Republicans aren't into recycling? Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again.