@ComedicBust: When my wife dressed up as Catwoman, I didn't know it'd mean she'd quit her job, sleep 23 hrs a day and spend the other hour licking herself
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@iamspacegirl: pros of being a jellyfish: -gelatinous body type. -tentacles. -sting the shit out of anything that tries to hug you. -low expectations.
@ShaneKnowsStuff: People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I'm stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
@Jack_Wagon1: If you've never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you've never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
@WetzelGeek: I pick up my dog's poop with empty Snickers wrappers. What I do with it afterwards is strictly on a need-to-know basis.