@Elephart: When my wife forgets to fill up the fishtank I lower the ceiling a few inches every day until she remembers.
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@Book_Krazy: *Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* "yeah, you'll be back.”
@ZachXJ: i go to a lot of married ladies' funerals and play the part of an upset lover just to mix things up and for free shrimp
@Phook75: Seriously considering robbing the ski mask store down the street but I'm having the hardest time deciding what to wear
@Douchekevin: The problem was that everyone was poking my ex on Facebook. And in my bed And on my couch And in my car And when I was at work