@bigmacher: When my wife sends me to the grocery store solo with a specific list I am not allowed to improvise. That was made clear when I got home.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Home_Halfway: HER: I like talking during sex, but I can't stand it when you narrate the whole thing ME: As she complains, I begin removing my pants slowly
@Scdavis24: I emailed my ex-girlfriend "Are you still alive" and she emailed back "No" which made me sad but also excited that they have email in hell.
@bsnc64: "Here you go body some nutritious food, how bout some energy?" Body: "I shall make this into nose hair"
@Tbone7219: Tweets a cocaine joke gets 120 favorites & a trophy Post a cocaine joke on Facebook & gets 170 "we are praying for you" & an intervention.