@bigmacher: When my wife sends me to the grocery store solo with a specific list I am not allowed to improvise. That was made clear when I got home.
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@GBRougecity: I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: I'm not sure if this clerk is smiling at me bc he knows I'm high or bc we're both high, but it's been 6 minutes and we're still just smiling
@sixthformpoet: 1: Steal ice cream van 2: Drive around slowly but never stop 3: Be proud to have helped prepare children for life's many disappointments