@KalvinMacleod: When my wife tells me to wear sunscreen and I refuse to listen, it shows that I am my own man who is badly sunburned.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jonnysun: [whole foods] WHITE GIRL: excus me do u hav pumpkin EMPLOYEE: (hands her a pumpkin) here WHITE GIRL: no no no. PUMPKIN. its a type of spice
@Kyle_Lippert: Coming soon to NBC: She's a lawyer who, you guessed it, doesn't play by the rules. And he's a doctor who, right again, pees sitting down.
@garrettbarry70: I have a CW who can't input data into a spreadsheet without whispering each number so don't tell me about your day.