@KalvinMacleod: When my wife tells me to wear sunscreen and I refuse to listen, it shows that I am my own man who is badly sunburned.
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@BigPlanetEarth: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying "sorry for the damage." Film reactions. Profit.
@Book_Krazy: Cute cat "Thanks. We dont let him in though cause he shreds" You mean sheds? "No" [gestures to cat shredding to Van Halen on the back patio]
@SamuelHLowe: My trainer said with enough sacrificing I could get a 6-pack. He's full of shit & I have 4 dead goats & 17 decapitated chickens to prove it.
@Dana_Bruno: My dog's pissed cos I buy him Senior food. He won't admit he's older now. So I scratch out the "i" on each can & tell him it's Mexican food.