@KalvinMacleod: When my wife tells me to wear sunscreen and I refuse to listen, it shows that I am my own man who is badly sunburned.
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@LostCatDog: You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can't do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner.
@truegritrumble: ME: *trying to fit in* I ALSO don't fly. PENGUINS: *shuffling about while trying to keep their distance* ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the pen.
@TheBoydP: Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.