@maxpalumbo5: When my youngest brother was little he was being bullied and went to my parents for help. They told him “Sticks and stones may break my bones” they then asked him to finish the phrase and he said “but chains and whips excite me” he seriously thought that was he second part.
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@: my 14 year old sister posted on snap “sucks to see someone else enjoying the man you built” LMAO
@jimmy_boston: Wife: Did you measure for carpet? Me: Yeah, from the window Wife: Don't Me: To the wall Wife: Don't Me: tothesweatdripoffmyballs! *runs*
@WilliamAder: Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you last month? Me: The package said "Take on an empty stomach" so, not yet.