@maxpalumbo5: When my youngest brother was little he was being bullied and went to my parents for help. They told him “Sticks and stones may break my bones” they then asked him to finish the phrase and he said “but chains and whips excite me” he seriously thought that was he second part.
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@Karissajem: Nephew: Wouldn't it be cool to breathe fire like a dragon? Me:*drinking gin straight from the bottle* We're about to find out, kid.
@JimmerThatisAll: The problem with Chinese food is an hour later you feel like hacking the Pentagon again.