@koalaslament: when no one is looking, squirrels use donuts as hula hoops
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@glo_stevens: I just ate my yogurt with a fork, because I've learned that if it looks like you have your shit together, people ask you to do stuff.
@TheRolo: You guys talk about sex like it's so great. I had sex once and she made me take off my jean jacket. Just not worth it.
@sageboggs: teacher: there's no such thing as a stupid question me: are sharks just mean dolphins teacher: ok i was wrong
@NotARatsAss: Tried to make a video seductively licking the frosting from an Oreo, but got excited and ate the whole thing. Twenty times.