@clindsaysway: When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: [Farmer's market] Me: One of your finest farmers plz Farmer: That's not how this works Me: Ok just give me some seeds & I'll grow my own
@jwoodham: Officer, I know I was speeding, but you have to let me go. I'm running late to a concert and I'm the guy who brings the giant beach ball.
@Jennifergr8: I'm beginning to think some of you are not your Avi's, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend.