@9GAG: when nothing goes right... go left
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@Celestinelea90: I asked my kids today if they felt we spent enough time together and they both texted back that we did so I guess we are all good.
@PrettyInCamo11: The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
@BoucheDag2k: Guy getting on elevator in my office building.." Going Down?" Me: "No, but I've got time for a hug"