@9GAG: when nothing goes right... go left
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@fuzzlime: *finally gets comfortable with you* *starts whispering in your ear* "oooo baby I can recite all my phobias in alpha order"
@BillDixonish: Halloween is the only day of the year you can ask someone "what are you supposed to be?" without triggering an existential crisis.
@duumb: Prison Guard: *evil laugh* I'm going to do a cavity search. Me, who has never had a cavity because I brush regularly: I look forward to it!