@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.
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@FrogAvalanche: *leads horse to water* "You're not gonna drink, are you?" *horse neighs* "It's The Fountain of Eternal Youth." Horse: You're not foaling me.
@RocketRankoon: No mister movie ticket guy that's not a bag of cheetos in my jacket that's my enlarged heart for the love of cinema
@TheHyyyype: ME: jesus preached about the virtues of forgiveness STUDENT LOAN SERVICER: yeah, still no