@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.
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@CloydRivers: Hey ladies, No Shave November ain't for you. Just saw some gal lookin' like she was tryin' to smuggle a cactus in her yoga pants. Merica.
@DilemmaEmmaEmma: Once when I had a broken toe, my mom told me to walk it off. When Princess Di died, she sobbed for a day.
@OfficialMizGin: Vegetarian: *lists 100 reasons why I shouldn’t eat meat* Me: Counterpoint: bacon.