@the_anastasia: When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed.
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@werehedgehog: In 1752, Benjamin Franklin invented electricity because it was no longer considered humane to execute people using an acoustic chair.
@TinaraMinus10: DON'T YOU LIKE ME! I WANNA MARRY YOU! WHY AM I IN THE TRUNK! -and other things I hear from guys on first dates
@juliussharpe: Meet your girlfriend's brother then realize you're screwing the female version of a guy.