@CulturedRuffian: When one door closes, another one opens which is also one of the first signs you probably have a poltergeist.
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@SirEviscerate: The 4th little pig built his house into a windmill. The wolf huffed and puffed and generated enough power to last the whole winter.
@TheBoydP: Protip: If your coworker has a picture of herself and her dog labeled "Beauty and the Beast" you shouldn't ask her which one is which.
@NicestHippo: [Lions watching a romantic comedy about humans] Why doesn't he simply mount her with no apparent warning?
@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it