@CulturedRuffian: When one door closes, another one opens which is also one of the first signs you probably have a poltergeist.
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@daplusk: I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them.
@robfee: Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms.
@PJTLynch: "Can I go play w/ my Twitter friends?" Wife: "Are the kids in bed & the dishwasher emptied?" "...Yes" *wife opens cabinet, kids fall out*