@tastefactory: When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult
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@Chumpstring: COP: step outta the car ME: k COP: are u carrying any drugs ME: [a mousetrap is in my pocket] i don't remember but i do consent to a search
@o__0Dev: I've finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in shower that runs down my body says, “4 extra volume & body
@adilansari: Just got a job opening demanding 13-18 yrs of experience in iOS development. Do they realize that the platform itself is 8 years old?
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: Since I got this new job my feet are killing me. DR DOG: What's your job? PATIENT: Mailman DR DOG: *chases him out of room barking*