@FunnyPicsDepot: when paris hilton singlehandedly saved the US economy
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@NYC_Blonde: I wish I was a baby so I could pass out in public with a bottle and no one would look twice.
@Playing_Dad: [Job interview] Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off the bus? Interviewer: Holy shit
@rickolantern: When you're on a diet everything smells like cookies. Except the guy beside me on the city bus. He smells like sardines Delicious sardines
@joeljeffrey: I just found out gorgonzola is a type of cheese, not a dinosaur. Needless to say, my gorgonzola salad was a huge let down.