@Dawn_M_: When people are kissing in public, it's weird how angry they get when you try and join in.
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@Brianhopecomedy: "Dadd-" "No." "You don't even know what I was going to say!" "You're wearing your Superman costume and standing beside the ladder. No."
@SteveMartinToGo: This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
@shamans_heal: The doctor wants me to start eating healthier to add years to my life. It's like he doesn't realize I'm married.
@ZombieProblms: You can't ban me from your neighborhood just because I "look scary" and "want to kill you." That's discrimination.