@ShipInTheKnight: When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
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@leshnevsky: How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture
@MissNaughty1801: Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone? 7y:can I repeat swear words? Me: no 7y: he said nothing then
@Freudianscript: When someone tells you to "get a Life," just take theirs. They'll be happy you took their advice, and you'll be happy they're dead.
@ericsshadow: My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.