@ShipInTheKnight: When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KKBowls: "I know what you look like naked" - me to my girlfriends identical twin sister, every single time I see her.
@Chumpstring: GENIE: you have three wishes ME: wow ok gimme a second GENIE: done ME: wait GENIE: sure if that's your wish ME: be quiet GENIE: ME: damn
@FrenulumBreve: "hello pretty lady." [i slide down the bar] "what's your name?" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye.
@Rollmaninoz: Caesar: friends, Romans countryman lend me your ear... [2 days later] *Caesar opens mailbox* "oh FFS Van Gogh IT'S A SAYING!!!!!'