@SarahMJade: When people ask me for directions Im just going to do a really slow sarcastic Macarena .
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@gerryhallcomedy: Women have a good 6th sense. I smiled at a girl in the mall once. When I got home I opened the door and my wife met me with a drop kick.
@Notoliviasteel: I will probably never be the tallest person in the room, but I will certainly be the highest
@angibangie: Him: I love nerd girls Me: Did you know that having red beard hair happens if you only have 1 mutated MC1R gene? Him: no. not like that.
@MyNameIsPappyG: Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over there and get me a beer