@SarahMJade: When people ask me for directions Im just going to do a really slow sarcastic Macarena .
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@tigersgoroooar: Not going to any more weddings or funerals. Please keep that in mind, friends who are considering getting married or dying.
@CrankyPappy: I'm constantly amazed that only 26 letters in the alphabet can produce so much bullshit.
@RobElliottComic: Me: congrats! Are you pregnant? Her: (awkwardly) Noooo... Me: *panics* do you wanna be? -great save- thanks brain