@MrFornicator: When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting.
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@TheTweetOfGod: American government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Which begs the question: what is wrong with you people?
@ManJuggs: The guy I’ve been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don’t own any animals.