@nayomeewallace: When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I wanna punch them in the face and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting.
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@llvvzz: Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.
@nbadag: *exorcism* DEMON: *roars* PRIEST: we must restrain him! WIFE: *opens drawer* here! *tosses fuzzy pink handcuffs* PRIEST: ... DEMON: hey now
@leshnevsky: Today's 3-year-olds can unlock the smartphone and launch favorite app or music player. What did I do in my 3-year-old? I ate sand.