@nayomeewallace: When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I wanna punch them in the face and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting.
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@RayfromCincy: The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing? ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.
@jctwritesstuff: *walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*