@nayomeewallace: When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I wanna punch them in the face and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting.
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@_GoldieLox: STOP PUTTING SIRENS IN MUSIC FOR PETE'S SAKE! I let my hair down & undid two buttons before i realized i wasn't getting pulled over!
@Sophie2078: Guy: I want a divorce. Me: And who are you? Guy: I’m your husband! We live together for 6 years! Me: Hmm.. No way! Are you sure?
@Donna_McCoy: [first date] Him: *dips chip into salsa rather than scooping* Me: *gets up and leaves* (...comes back, grabs salsa bowl, leaves for real)