@Elizasoul80: When people ask "what do you do" I try to seem normal by saying things like "Walk with my feet. Use water. See things that are there."
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@david8hughes: [at the drs] Dr: are you sexually active? Me: yeah Dr: with real people Me [avoiding eye contact & twisting my foot in the ground]: yip
@shutupmikeginn: It's goofy when people pretend to zip their mouth closed to indicate keeping a secret. "Your secret is well guarded... behind a zipper"
@ElleOhHell: [front of card] No one will find your body [open card] as attractive as I do [back of card] lying at the bottom of an abandoned mine shaft
@chimneyspotter: What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]