@OuterJohn: When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic.
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: News says there were a "record number of marijuana seizures" in 2015. Weird … after all these decades I've never had a single seizure.
@StatMan_Who: Are @bt_uk responsible for the crime and violence in our society? @funTweeters @TheComedyHumor @OurNameIsFun
@JohnMayer: Yogurt does nothing. Creamy nonsense. You ever finished a yogurt cup and felt like it made a difference? Like throwing a shoe at a bear.