@Teowulf: When people post sad things on Facebook I just want to hug them and whisper softly in their ears, "no one cares."
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@Bluestmoon_: 78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up.
@JoshuaHvr: Boss: "Are you texting?" Me: "No, I'm Tweeting." Boss: "What's the difference?" Me: "Texting would imply that I have friends."
@skickwriter: I appreciate and am so thankful for all law enforcement officers ...until I'm driving.