@Teowulf: When people post sad things on Facebook I just want to hug them and whisper softly in their ears, "no one cares."
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@ashleyn1cole: WTF NEW YORK?!?!?! I carried a paper grocery bag with a baguette in it for BLOCKS and NOBODY FELL IN LOVE WITH ME.
@Parentpains: Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic.
@TheHyyyype: [when i was a kid] DAD: remember, if a girl is mean to you, that means she likes you [today] MY BOSS: you screwed everything up this week you idiot ME: sorry, i'm not really looking for a relationship right now