@chopper4jk: When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I'm sure you already know, have a great time!
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@clyderun: At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the "I have a PhD" card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye.
@electrolemon: i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just "all the money you got"
@brentalfloss: 1942: How can we beat the Nazis? 1968: How can we go to the moon? 2006: How can a phone be a supercomputer? 2016: How can we beat the Nazis?
@truegritrumble: ME: If I go to bed now, I'll be rested for the big meeting tomorrow. INSOMNIA: The world is just waiting for you to start a blog.