@LurkAtHomeMom: When people say let's stop fighting and act like a family, that's where I get confused.
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@KeetPotato: [gameshow] me: [visibly doing maths on my fingers] "17" host: [looks at me weird] "that's wrong" other contestant: "salmon?" host: "correct"
@valerie_tosi: The Chipotle I went to apologized for not having any lettuce today. I said "It's cute that you think I'm here for that."
@Darlainky: If these seasonal allergies don't kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will.