@Nrvous1: When people say "May I ask who's calling?" I like to say "Sure, go ahead."
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@FatherWithTwins: *young woman walks by Wife: Wow, she looks really good, don't you think? Me: NO WAY, I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THAT
@upsheezy: "Walk it off" does not apply to everything. Stupidity, for example. You're not walking that shit off unless it's in to oncoming traffic
@AdamUrbane: This hammock is the most relaxing thing I've ever had slingshot me point blank into the ground.