@ForeverHairy: When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like.
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@djdarrellripley: It's true. Parents that use drugs, have kids that use drugs. So, there's an important lesson here... Don't have kids.
@SortaBad: *panics during bank robbery* "Uhhhh hi yeah I'd like to put this gun in my safety deposit box"
@truegritrumble: ME: *pleased* Honey, I folded the dishes. WIFE: M: W: The laundry. M: No the dish... W: M: W: What? M: We need new dishes.
@Laser_Cat: Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.