@AntozWolf: When people see ghosts, why aren't they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
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@shatterpants: Sitting in traffic wishing I had a Sasquatch to lean out of the passenger window and make police car noises.
@MrPhetz: Why did my ex gf Fav my tweet where I announced that I got laid off. Why did you do that sharon
@Brianhopecomedy: "Hi, I'd like a Junior McChicken and a cheeseburger please." "$3.23." "Oh, and a bottle of water." "$87.54. Please drive thru."