@MCaparco: When people see ghosts, why aren't they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
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@Reverend_Scott: Goodnight honey. "Daddy, where do babies come from?" The stork flies them in. "Why's it take 9 months?" Wind resistance. Go to sleep.
@anagramps: *hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*
@ElKnuckelhombre: Wife: I left the kids with you for a half hour & they dumped 3 pounds of sugar in the dryer trying to make cotton candy. Me: Did it work?
@PinkCamoTO: I used to have a desk with great selfie lighting and then I changed jobs for personal fulfilment. I wouldn't recommend it.