@10InchesPlus: When people shorten words for no reason it makes me want to commit murds.
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@JediGigi: [cute guy approaches at bar] Him: Hey can I... Me: [blushing] Yes? Him: Can I get a pic of you for my mom? You look just like my grandpa.
@bugbucket: wonder why's theres a pizza laying here in the middle of the woods *eats it* *dies 82 years later* dammit it was a trap
@LoveNLunchmeat: Diet, Day 14: I hate everyone. My children are scared of me & I've repelled everyone else. But I'm starting to really like pears.