@GreenishDuck: When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
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@WilliamAder: In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.
@dreamthievin: People who bend down to pick up a thread instead of running over it with the vacuum 37 times, what's it like to exercise?
@OBiiieeee: i thought i heard a dog approaching but it was just some hot girl's keys jingling. i fixed my hair for nothing
@aveuaskew: Is this one haunted? "No" What about that one? "Ma'am, none of the booze is haunted" What kind of wine and spirits store is this?!