@GreenishDuck: When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
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@fusedude: I found out today that if I just let go of the steering wheel, my car will drive itself. The catch is: my car is a terrible driver.
@Steve_hamiltin: We gave you Nickelback and Justin Bieber. You responded with the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo. Well played America, well played
@tigersgoroooar: If a boy put rose petals all over my bed I’d be like you’re cleaning this up I’m not cleaning this up