@GreenishDuck: When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
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@EasilyTempted: If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon.
@dshack8: Bummed cuz parents wont send their kids to my resort that teaches how to pay attention. I thought "Concentration Camp" would be a gold mine.
@Kyle_Lippert: The masseuse asked if I wanted her to finish me, I said yes & then she ripped my spine out & said "Flawless Victory!"
@kumailn: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa" - the soundtrack to every Middle Eastern scene in every Hollywood movie.